A common struggle that many people are bound to be the syndrome called “I will not be happy until”. Even I have had to deal with this syndrome in my own life. Our culture dictates to us that there is a rainbow just on the other side of where we are now. If we keep chasing after this rainbow it will only wear us down mentally and physically and make us more depressed. Why is it that we are not happy with our lives, why do we keep running and looking for something that we don’t have?
Over the past 50 to 100 years our culture and society as changed to where we live now in a culture that is based on consumerism. When we live in this type of culture where we always want more we will never be satisfied with what we have. We always will have this empty feeling in us with a yearning to fill this empty gap within us.
Unfortunately, this gap will never be filled, most of us have no idea what is missing. And without knowing what is missing in our lives we will continue running after materialist things that we think will fill our needs. All the while we are ruining it and damaging our lives and our relationship with others because we are depressed or unhappy all the time.
The roots of this if left unattended will run deep into our soul. For many, it has led them down a path that took them to suicide. Each year the statistic for suicide just keeps climbing.
According to the CDC : In 2015, the last year the CDC released mortality data, there were 44,193 suicide deaths; in 2016 there were 44,965, an increase of 772 additional deaths
These rates are unbelievable. World Health Organization (WHO) has been tracking suicide rates for many years. Over the past several years suicide has drastically gone through the roof with over 1 million people die from this disease every year.
One of the leading causes is the addiction to materialism and comparing ourselves to others. Both of these have skyrocketed over the years and mostly due to social media. For most people around the world, our lives are consumed with what is happening on social media.
One addiction that has evolved over the years is comparing us to others. We see what our friends are doing on social media and what they are purchasing or traveling to and we get envious of what is happening in their lives. This is where the syndrome of “I will not be happy until” comes into play.
Have you ever had this thought rolling around in your brain that says:
Only if I had a little bit more success, a little bit more fame, a little bit more money, a little bit more of a better job….. Then I would be happy?
Our mad materialism is partly a reaction to inner discontent. As human beings’ it’s normal for us to experience an underlying ‘psychological discord’, caused by the incessant chattering of our minds, which creates a disturbance inside us, and often triggers negative thoughts.
Does this sound familiar, it does to me. I am constantly looking for something new; I have this battle constantly in my brain. I have no idea what will make me happy but I know there is something out there that will.
We’re convinced that we can buy our way to happiness , that wealth is the path to permanent fulfillment and well-being. We still measure ‘successes in terms of the quality and price of the material goods we can buy, or in the size of our salaries. — Psychology today
Have you ever wondered why the divorce rate is so extremely high in Hollywood? The reason is even the most famous, the wealthiest, and the people that seem to have everything are prone to being empty inside. We have seen this in the last few years with famous people committing suicide in our country and the leading cause; they are lonely or empty inside.
Social media at one time was thought to be a fad, but far from it. Every day there is a new social app’s popping up all around the globe. Spending time on these sites is not a bad thing if done correctly. The issue is that most people bare their soul on these sites and that can be dangerous.
Another issue that happens on these sites is that people tend to fabricate, cheat, steal on social media. I just read an article that over 65% lie on social media sites.
On these sites you can act like you have a perfect family, you are happy with life; you can pretend that you are rich and so on…
For example, There are times when some couples for weeks live under the same roof, are mad at each other & don’t speak to one another. But yet during this time, there will be posts on FB of the two of them having dinner together and the caption will read “having dinner with the love of my life”.
People see this on social media and they start thinking that they wished they had a marriage like these two loving people. All the while it is totally bogus. The two people in that picture at that very moment are pretending that everything is ok, but in reality, they are trapped in a toxic marriage.
This is why addictions are so rampant in our society. We try to find solutions to our loneliness, our fears, and our emptiness through either a plastic credit card or from a takeout container. We rely on shopping or eating to fill these gaps in our lives.
One way to find true happiness is by being grateful for what you already have. When you are grateful it trains your brain to focus on the goodness that surrounds you. Gratitude fills the emptiness in your life with satisfaction.
At the end of it, all you need to ask yourself is this question, “What is it that I am chasing and will it really make me happy?
We have no control over our future, we cannot control events that happen in our lives. The only thing we have control over is our happiness. If we can wrap our minds around being grateful and stop chasing the “XYZ” in life, then we may find true happiness. When we find this true happiness in our emotions, our anger, our insomnia, and our health will be so much better.
Do you personally struggle with chasing “I will be happy when” syndrome in your life? What do you think will make your life happier?
Originally published at http://door-to-success.com on August 25, 2018.
